A Mother’s Love and Loss
Grief is not something I am very familiar or comfortable with. Of course, throughout my life, I’ve suffered losses; grandparents, friends, coworkers, pets but nothing truly prepares you for the loss of your mother. It has been a little over a month since my mom, Debby Singley (or as others charmingly called her “Dee”, “Bubbles”, “Sparkle Plenty” or “Debby-Do”) left us. I have gone back and forth deciding if I should share this on social media, my website, email - struggling to find the right words and if it’s even the right thing to do. However, as the days pass, I find writing to be therapeutic and I believe her story, her love, and the impact she made on my life is worthy of a tribute.
My sister, Regan and I celebrating the Kentucky Derby at our annual derby party in 2023.
Growing up, my sister and I never wanted for anything. At times, I worry that it hinders me in some aspects of my adult life, but my sister and I were always put first by our parents. Whether it was picking me up from tennis matches to driving across town to ballet class, she never missed one practice, match, recital…she selflessly gave her time so that I could achieve my goals and dreams.
It wasn’t always rainbows and unicorns, as I got older and more stubborn, we fought, bickered, yelled, screamed, cried. It’s incredible my dad stuck around.
I am very much my mother’s child; stubborn, always right, not willing to listen. But I feel that I gained some incredible traits from her as well - passionate, driven and I love HARD, just don’t cross me since I also inherited a healthy dose of grudge-holding.
You’d often find our whole family playing yard games at my parents, croquet happened to be mom’s favorite.
As I grew older and began to understand all the sacrifices she made for me, my birthday became something different, it wasn’t about me or how old I was turning or what kind of party I wanted. It was a reminder, a celebration of the life she gave me - I wouldn’t be where I am today and the person I am (good and bad) without her unconditional love.
Each birthday for the past 15 years, I have gifted my mom flowers. This tradition is something I will truly cherish as long as I’m alive and I hope to spread it to those who are lucky enough to celebrate and honor their moms.
A recent bouquet left on my parents’ kitchen table where I would usually see the birthday flowers every year.
Mom was personally responsible for sparking my interest in gardening or as she called it “playing in the dirt”. If she wasn’t working, driving me around from place to place or playing tennis, she had her sleeves rolled up, her straw hat on working in the garden. She taught me how to propagate hydrangea cuttings, and if you have or hope to purchase hydrangeas from me, you will be taking a piece of my mom with you. Every single hydrangea plant I grow came from her and I’m so grateful that I get to visit her when I walk among them.
One of many classic blue hydrangeas propagated by mom.
As time marched on, through low points and personal challenges in my life, her love always kept my feet on the ground. We certainly disagreed on a lot of things but that bond never wavered.
One of our last beach trips that mom was able to enjoy the sand, salt water and sun in Ft Morgan, AL June of 2018.
The road has been long and witnessing this powerhouse of a woman succumb to auto-immune diseases will leave a scar as long as I live. However, I’m truly grateful to be lucky enough to carry on her legacy through our shared passion of flowers.
With the support of my dad, husband, sister and friends, I know that my path forward is to share her love of flowers with our community one petal at a time.
Squeeze your loved ones, make every second of every day count and know that every day is a gift, however tough life can get. We are all in this together.
With love and flowers, Anna
